Much Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a big week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own first piece relates to all of us via xojane, the ladies’s internet site went upwards by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(i am serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part falls under the “It Happened for me” feature which existed at JANE journal and is made up mainly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively interesting private experiences.

The anonymous composer of this piece, whom I’ll call “Ariel,” is obviously bisexual, but because she easily supplies blow jobs to the woman male associates but doesn’t big date or usually decrease on women, she actually is, she explains, commercially, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She additionally identifies herself as “mostly direct” and “right” at some other things for the narrative.) Her reputation started, she explains, whenever her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman college — took place on the for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it and straight away fled the world fearing her very own inability to do such fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such an extended time period.

She produces:

“of course, word got around that she and I had connected hence I’d left this lady dangling, which in fact had the odd effect of providing me folk-heroine condition. Kelly also known as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I found myself one. It was like some sort of motion picture conceit the spot where the hero is seen erroneously as a celebrity and extends to ride in a limo and stay in a fancy hotel caused by it.”

This seemingly totally worked out in her own benefit, as she romped about in college setting up with many “aggressive kinds which got off regarding the idea that I was unwilling to allow a female touch me personally.” Post-college, she managed to move on to the internet, in which she marketed the lady comfortable condition and frequently came across up with women for NSA sex.

Close to the end she problematically describes that whenever starting up with a woman she actually is not interested in, she just shuts her sight and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it seems like she desires ladies to eat her out simply because they’re presumably much better at it than men are. She

could

decrease on it but “I am not dating them, and I don’t believe I would personally want my fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to give back.”

I wouldnot need to stay alongside Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided intimate experiences are consensual and she actually is just informing a real tale of her life, therefore I’m certainly not sure what to label of this (and I’m interested to know what you create from it, if such a thing).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Venture
) we have
We Married a Lesbian (And I’m a Guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on the same form of lady: the star baseball member, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some were not.” The guy questioned:

What-is-it that drew myself many times to women that happened to be same-sex attracted? It really wasn’t the stereotypical male dream by what these were performing during intercourse, also it definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho notion that I could switch a gay lady straight.

In areas, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me personally for this estimate from

Girls Across The Street

,
that I cited in articles about female manliness
:

“…if we’d in order to make an added generalization about lesbian style, it could be that the majority of you tend to be powerfully attracted to females, homosexual or right, breathtaking or perhaps not, whom look like capable eliminate by themselves.”

Mcdougal ultimately marries a lesbian which introduced as direct, in which he discovered their unique causing sex-life as unsatisfactory. She would not offer him hit jobs and don’t love penetration but gladly approved their choices of cunnilingus. When their particular sexless wedding finished in divorce proceedings and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is apparently thoughtful to his ex-wife’s fight in the place of marking her as misleading (as numerous on the commenters would):

She had originate from a conventional household who have now been deeply embarrassed to possess a homosexual youngster. She may also have known, but did her far better hide it, perhaps hoping that her thoughts might alter. Or she may have been like lots of women I understood, and just found her genuine sexual identification after already getting hitched to a person.

What is actually redeeming about that essay to me that the author’s conception of their own gender is mainly free from the original male posturing any might anticipate in an item along these lines (he even refers to himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it really seems that way because males thus seldom write about desiring strong, athletic, effective females with short-hair; but it’s refreshing none the less.

I do not fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique stories, but it is really worth mentioning that both narratives frequently ride throughout the concept that bed room conduct will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning signal” he skipped, when entrance is actually scarcely a specifically heterosexual work (it appears more inclined Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with one she did not wish to-be with, yet , that knows) and dropping crazy, in the long run, is approximately the vagina but it’s in addition concerning your center and it’s really mainly about having enchanting emotions. Those enchanting feelings are the thing that transforms a hook-up connection into a relationship, most likely.

At long last at

nerve.com

there is a nice tale directly from horse’s throat —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I believe this is actually the first-time the “very first time” series provides included a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, mcdougal confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian thoughts on her, along with her best friend reciprocated, and they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian commitment and they are nonetheless collectively today and she actually is a grown-up from inside the armed forces!

It seems they’ve yet to get their union from the dresser, that is quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: works out this tale ended up being written before DADT was repealed, though it just got published, thus you’ll find nothing puzzling taking place right here. This is simply straight-up sweet atlanta divorce attorneys means, unequivocally.]

The focus with the portion (and that is really adorable and sweet) is found on the author’s discovery of
what lesbian sex IS
:

We had never come down for each various other, and I ended up being convinced that is what we would meant whenever we stated we wanted to have intercourse. (today I realize that absolutely a lot more to fucking than licking a lady’s snatch and calling it every single day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that the majority of people differ in what virginity methods to a homosexual girl, but virginity is completely subjective, and it also truly relies upon whom you’re inquiring. Some individuals might say penetration needs to be involved, but i do believe it really is up to anyone dropping his/her virginity. Basically feel just like I lost my virginity, next goddammit, I have!

I invested the vast majority of early morning and mid-day observing wordpress, racking your brains on what point i really could make about any of these pieces. I thought lots about why we’d never submit “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this web site but are unable to see through the explanation that I would fear 50 people would vow not to get back here and remaning many-thousands people would fight together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before temperature loss of the universe. I envisioned some one publishing “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via mail then I thought the editorial meeting in which we might can that story as well as say “NO” additionally.

In seeking a place to gleam from these tales, i have attempted to determine what you might think or state, and I can’t, and I also wish to complete this blog post as quickly as possible to accelerate the procedure of me personally determining how you feel about these stories. Yup, for the first time ever since beginning Autostraddle, i have had gotten little idea what you should state about something. Therefore perhaps i ought to just ask you to answer — what’s your own reaction to these parts?